whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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