he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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