Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
