Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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