i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
