What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
