my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
