Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize