The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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