Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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