I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Success! We fucked roommates!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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