im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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