Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
cat food counts as protein by the way
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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