You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
