Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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