My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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