Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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