that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
