the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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