he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
