i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
