he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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