And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
