I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
