gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
