Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
