Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
