Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
