you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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