If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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