the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
