I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
