Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
