Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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