Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
