Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
