I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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