i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize