They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
