plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he puts the penis in happiness.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
