I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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