My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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