Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
