my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
