Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
