Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
