I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
