Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize