You're my little dorito
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So squirting runs in the family.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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