I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
