I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
