STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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