I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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