halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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