i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There's always time for handjobs
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
