Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize