well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't put those talents on a resume
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
