508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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