ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
