we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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