how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
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You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
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I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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