At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
