ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The air was thick with penises
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
